Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Im not sure if this is acceptable as the short story...

The scene was like a scene in hell. The entire battlefield was enshrouded in smoke. Unpleasant, ear piercing sounds of firing of guns were heard. Occasionally, one could see fire erupting from below, like a small volcano eruption, and it was usually accompanied with a loud ‘boom’. If one were to take his eyes off the smoke covered sky, he would see men lying lifeless on the floor in a pool of scarlet blood. Cuts and bruises were seen everywhere in their body, on their wimpy arms and mutilated faces. They all showed one expression before their death, however – pride. In the epic clash between the two titans, humans were seen as mere ants that were tossed casually away.
Distinctly, one could see that there was a barrage on the right of the battlefield and the invading army marched from the left. The barrage looked like a long grey sinister snake, and the army from the left looked like a sky blue sea serpent. They were, of course, the French and German armies.
Young Hitler was in the midst of this titanic clash. Although he had seen and fought many wars before this one, he could not believe that the atmosphere in this particular war was so intense. He saw many comrades of his lying dead on the ground, blood staining their grey coats red. He growled in obvious resentment, “Those French Froggies. I would like to see how dirty their blood is.” Then, he continued on his merciless shooting, even more so now since he wanted to avenge the death of his comrades.
However, the longer the war was fought, the worse the situation seemed for Germany. More and more frequently could Hitler hear the ominous ‘boom’, clearly despite the din. Huh, those French losers could not win via melee, so they used this despicable trick. Then, he found out that his location suddenly became darker, and, instinctively, raised his head up to see what it was. He saw a biplane soaring about him, like a winged dragon, slowly descending to seal their fate. Another one of those lousy French planes. Suddenly, he leapt back in shock. The French biplane had dropped a bomb right next to him.
He then heard an archaic voice. It was old, but still had that uncanny clarity and sooths him. It also sounded majestic. Leave now. He was surprised, but thought that it was merely his imagination. Furthermore, he would never leave this battle, because he knew that if he did so he might put Germany in an even direr situation. At that point of time, soldiers of both armies were fighting for their lives in that battle, and his comrades desperately need his assistance. But the voice came back again and again. In the midst of this battle, Hitler actually stood immobile for a moment, legs rooted to the floor. He stared blankly ahead, without noticing that a bullet had just whizzed past him and missed him by an inch. For that moment, it was like as though his action packed surroundings were merely empty space, and all his attention were diverted at what was ahead of him (which was empty space). By then, countless bullets have already whizzed past him, and a few bombs were dropped beside him, but none seemed to him to be as important as the blank and empty space in front of him. Then, unconsciously, he really dropped the gun in his hand went away.
He was in a daze, and instead of running away, he actually walked. He was staring straight forward, his pupils dilated. It was as though he became a zombie. He looked like as though he was bewitched, enchanted. Only until he heard a loud ‘bang’ from behind him did he finally snap out of his trance. He leapt backward in sheer shock. He turned around and, to his surprise, saw that the exact spot where he was standing had been bombed. About a dozen of his comrades were lying dead on the floor, in scarlet pools. He shivered involuntarily and thought: If I hadn’t unconsciously moved away I would have suffered the same fate as them. He found it odd of him doing such things, and tried his best to recall what had happened before. He did not remember himself moving away, and paused for a moment, wondering what happened. Then he remembered the archaic voice. He felt tempted to find out whom it belonged to, but immediately realized his present situation and, feeling that fighting the war was more important, decided to pick up his gun and continue with the battle.
The cold wind blew, and the smoke that had once enshrouded the battlefield was gone, revealing the beautiful golden rays reflected off leaves. Lady luck seemed to favour Germany after that surprising event, and a bullet from Hitler’s gun managed to hit a bomb bound for the barrage. As the bomb was dropped and travelled in a diagonal direction, the bullet Hitler fired hit the bomb when it was in midair and (due to sheer luck) right on top of the enemy position. The bomb exploded right above the enemy and the fire managed to burn a highly concentrated part of the enemy position. The Germans took advantage of the situation and managed to repel the enemy.
Later that day, Hitler heard that voice again. I want you to become the savior of mankind, to warn the human race of a possible invasion. I want you to start another Great War(Hitler: did the great German Empire win?) after this one and to lose that war on purpose .Also, I want you to start a Genocide. This will be your quest. Let me warn you, however, that you will have to sacrifice your life in the end. Hitler suddenly felt that winning the war didn’t matter now and that felt that it was unimportant, and realized that the quest bestowed upon him was much more important. All his hatred of the French, English and the other Allies vanished. They no longer mattered. The quest was what that mattered now. “I accept the quest,” said Hitler solemnly.
And so, he began on his quest…
25 years later…
A short man stood in front of the flag of the former German empire. There were spots of darker colours on the flag. Then, after a while, he looked up at the sky and sighed, “Gott mit uns.” In his eyes, the sky had a Jewish star, which was what 'uns' was referred to.

6 comments:

  1. Great story and truly moving. However, i am not sure whether this is related to Singhapore. I have a suggestion for you. You could relate this incident to world war 2, where singapore fought against the japanese. There you can include your own feelings and not hitler's which makes the strory even touching. Well done anyway!

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  2. lol actually I planned to say that this is something related to race and religion and blah blah blah when people ask me how its related to singapore. thanks for the suggestion anyway, i will take it into consideration.

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  3. That was completely unexpected. :D I'll probably do an actual commentary on your next short story.

    Short story on Hitler: Win

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  4. I really can't imagine Fuman's face when he sees this story. Like what Sean had said, this story is really unexpected. Its good that you added historical background into your story. The setting of this story is probably during the first world war when Hitler was enlisted in the German Army fighting the French. From the story, we could see that Hitler was someone really patriotic to his country. The part I liked most was the ending.However, I think your short story does not follow the theme "Identity" and "Being Singaporean". You can probably write a story, imagining you are a leader of Singapore, which had also been through war. All in all, I must admit that I really love your story, but I think you should work on is to follow the theme.

    Wang Rixin

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  5. Exactly what Yu Xiang and Ri Xin said, you should stick more closely to the theme "Identity" or "Singaporean (in one way or another)". But it was awesome! If this story or scene really appeared in front of my very own eyes, I wouold actually kill Hitler first.

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  6. Not sure if it meets the themes, but excellent storyline, vivid description of scenes on the battlefield. Everyone loves your story as it has a unique storyline, me too!

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